Rehearsal Dinner - Who, What, When, Where and Why?

Traditionally there were two things the Groom’s family were responsible for – the bar tab and the rehearsal dinner. Nowadays the lines are a little more blurred as to who pays for what with the bridal couple themselves footing most or all of the bill and parents or other family members chipping in where they can. So unfortunately if the Groom’s side is unable to plan a dinner or has no interest in doing so, then by de facto it becomes your choice if you are going to host one and ultimately your responsibility.

While having a rehearsal is highly recommended, holding a rehearsal dinner is not mandatory or necessary. That being said, the rehearsal dinner offers the opportunity for the families to get together one more time before the wedding, for the couple to thank all those who have helped with the planning (and financial) process, and to relax and laugh together. The rehearsal dinner can be as formal or as casual as the couple would like with many couples opting for a more casual dinner to offset the formal festivities to come. Also, if you are planning on giving gifts to your wedding party the rehearsal dinner is a great time to hand them out (unless you would like to do so more privately) as they are all in one place and they do not have to worry about carrying your gift around with them on the day of the wedding.

Who is invited is largely dictated by budget and type of wedding. The essential people who are to be invited would be all those involved in the wedding – the bride and groom, both sets of parents, the attendants, any children (and their parents), any readers, ushers or the MC and the officiant and his or her spouse (although they tend to decline). If you were having a smaller wedding a more intimate rehearsal dinner invitee list such as this one would be appropriate. The next level of invitees would be any other family members such as grandparents, siblings, aunts or uncles. You would also extend the invitation to the wedding party’s significant others and perhaps special family friends. And if that wasn’t a long enough guest list the last group of people you may consider inviting would be your out-of-town guests. If you have a few OOT guests it is quite thoughtful to include them in this event however if you have a lot of OOT guests you might think about having a separate event just for them a bit earlier in the week. This may or may not work depending upon arrival dates but if your guests are given the opportunity to get to know each other before your wedding you will find that everyone will enjoy themselves that much more.

The rehearsal dinner usually follows the rehearsal but nothing is set in stone. Most often than not it occurs a day or two before the wedding, immediately following the rehearsal and can take place at a restaurant, at someone’s home, in a park, at a hotel…the options are endless. You can go as formal as a catered banquet to as casual as a picnic in the park. Burgers and beers at the local pub also go over very well as does the backyard BBQ. However, no matter where you have it or who is invited, all costs should be covered and your guests should not be expected to pay for anything.

Kerry Reid
Fairy Godmother Weddings
www.fairygodmotherweddings.ca

My fiancés parents want me to send out announcements. What are these, when do I send them and how do people know they are not an invitation?

Announcements are usually sent out to extended family, friends and colleagues...those that weren’t invited to your wedding.  If you had an intimate or destination wedding, you probably have lots of pals and family members you want to tell.

They are worded similar to wedding invitations but the wedding has already taken place and can match the style, font and paper of your invitations.  Announcements are generally made by the couple themselves or by parents hosting the wedding.

Send announcements on the day of your wedding, not before, as they are announcing an event that has already taken place. 

Susan Boucher
Paper Artistry
www.paperartistry.ca

How much should I budget per person for rentals?

Depending on where the event is taking place and how the food is being served (i.e. buffet or plated), rentals for cutlery, glassware, china, linens, napkins, tables, chairs etc. can range from approximately $7.00 to $15.00 per person.  If you need to book a tent, then add an additional $4.00 to $7.00 per person depending on the size and type of tent. 

As there are so many variables to consider such as using a basic setting versus a more elaborate configuration, it is always recommended that you make an appointment with a rental coordinator at your local rental company to determine exactly what you need.  An experienced rental coordinator will walk you through the rental process to make sure that you haven’t missed anything, as well as, ensure that you have booked the appropriate quantities for the number of guests expected at your wedding/event.

Tania Newman, Rental Coordinator
Pedersen’s Rentals, Burnaby, BC
www.pedersens.com

 

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